The Winner! We’re not sure these were the best, but we like to reward those who spend the time, or Google all the time, and Mike flooded us with “Dog Walks Into a Bar” jokes and therefore, he wins! It doesn’t hurt he said our magazine was F’in Awesome. We feel the love. DEREK AND THE CREW AND BEER MAGAZINE, Y have the Finger Lakes beer trail right near by. I’m drinking some of Brooklyn Brewery’s Blackour Magazine is F****** awesome. You should do a piece on Syracuse Breweries...Plus you Chocolate Stout (10% abv) right now so please forgive me if any of these jokes suck. -Mike Diers • A dog walks into a bar...and says “Give me a beer so I can •An angry dog walks into a bar with some jumper cables get the taste of my own asshole out of my mouth”. attached to his collar. The Bartender looks at him and says “All right pal, I’l let you stay, but don’t start anything” • A dog walks into a bar...and orders a Flying Dog, so the bartender threw him out the window. •A man walks into bar and sits down. A dog walks up to him and says “What will it be buddy?”... The man just sat their • A dog walks into a bar...and orders a Raging Bitch, so the staring at the dog. The dog says “What’s the matter pal...ain’t Some jokes are really just not that funny. bartender gave him his wife. you ever seen a talking dog?” The man replies “Sure I have, I just never thought the ferret would sell the place” the man that shot my pa’’. I’ve got more for you... and says “I’m looking forA 3 legged dog walks into a bar • • A dog walks into a bar and says “I’m hungover, so give me • Three dogs walk into a bar and order some beers. After a the hair of myself”. little while 1 dog walks over to the corner and pees. The bartender yells at the dogs and the Alpha dog says, “He just loves this place • A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and so much that he is marking his territory. Its a compliment”. The a dog. The man asks, “Does your dog bite?” The lady answers, bartender just smiles and keeps working. After a few more minutes “Never!” The man reaches out to pet the dog, and the dog bites the second dog walks over to the other corner and pees. The Alpha his hand. The man says, “I thought you said your dog doesn’t dog again pipes up and says” It’s a compliment.” The Bartender bite!” The woman replies, That’s not my dog.” smiles, nods and keeps working. A little while later the Alpha dog starts sniffing all of the other patrons butts. The Bartender says “Let • Two guys are walking their dogs, a black lab and a me guess; that’s a compliment too?” The alpha dog looks at him Chihuahua. They stop in front of a bar and the Black Lab owner and says “No sir, I’m just tired of smelling piss”. says “lets go in for a beer”. The Chihuahua owner says “We can’t take our dogs in there”. The lab owner says “Watch” and walks in • A stray dog walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender and orders a beer. The Bartender says “You can’t bring your dog walks up and says “How was your day” the dog replied “Ruff”. in here buddy”... “But he is my Seeing Eye dog” the lab owner exclaims. The Bartender apologizes and gives him his beer. After • A pack of rabid dogs walk into a bar and they all order beers. seeing this, the Chihuahua owner walks in and orders a beer. The The bartender says “I’ll serve you, just don’t ruff up the place”. bartender says “No dogs allowed,” “But he is my Seeing Eye dog” he says, “Yeah right! A Chihuahua...give me a break” says the • A dog walks into a bar and says “Give me the strongest beer bartender. The man stands up and says “What??? They gave you have”. With a raised eyebrow, the bartender pours his glass me a CHIHUAHUA?!!! and hands him his beer and says, “Well, that will kill your taste buds.” To which the dog replies, “You’d order this too, if you were • A dog walks into a bar and the Bartender says, “How’s licking your ass all day”. it going?” The dog replies, “I’m holding my own”. “That’s good” replied the Bartender “You’d get arrested for holding - Mike Diers someone else’s”. :15
Binder1
To see the actual publication please follow the link above